do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
