Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
