dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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