You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
