well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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