Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
