I didn't shave. On purpose
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
