I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
