College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
