Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
