Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
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