She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
