She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
