your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
