her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
