I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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