There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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