I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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