Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
