You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
