You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
