I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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