The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
