sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
