She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize