There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So here I am, sexting at work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
