And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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