guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm like, not good at living.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize