If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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