The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
