It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
