would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
