Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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