Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

(330): View more from Ohio

I'll alert the authorities

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(305): View more from Florida

She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.

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(317): View more from Indiana

he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".

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(859): View more from Kentucky

this just has baby written all over it

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

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(408): View more from California

Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?

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