I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
