I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
