doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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