put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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