Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
