I'm pants shitting drunk right now
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
