you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
