Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
