# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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