He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
