my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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