Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
