I CAN MOONWALK!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
