Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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