it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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