You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize