I'm gonna have a badass scar
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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