Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
