is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
