Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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