Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize