dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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