i think i have herpe
just one?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
