i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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