So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
