Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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