would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
