Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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