Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The air was thick with penises
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
