I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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