i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
