Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She's the barista slut.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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